Retirement Plans...

I think when I retire I'm going to open a ceiling fan store. Not just any ceiling fan store, but one where you can come and customize your fan exactly the way you want it. I think I'll name my store "Number 1 Fan".

Annoying People for $500

Watching Jeopardy with someone that shouts out stupid guesses for every question... What is, the most annoying way to spend 30 minutes of your day?

The Real Culprit

Why must it be curiosity that killed the cat... Sometimes it's just traffic.

Sweet Nothings

Why would you whisper sweet nothings into someone's ear? I'd much rather have sweet somethings whispered into mine. Anyone trying to whisper nothing into my ear needs to get out my ear, and quit wasting my time.