Curse of the Leprechauns...

If Leprechauns are so lucky... how come they have red hair?

The Perfect Storm...

A friend told me that one of the buildings wrecked during the hurricane was none other than The Home Depot. Some people might not think this is a big deal... I, on the other hand, believe it is a sign. A sign that hurricanes are getting smarter. So smart they destroyed the only thing we could use to rebuild our cities... Home Depot.

Some "Evil" Teamwork

Batman villains are always pairing up, like Catwoman and The Penguin. But how come The Joker never teamed up with The Riddler. It just makes sense... after all, with their powers of evil combined they could of come with some pretty funny riddles.

A Mystery in Duckberg

Remember Ducktales?... Did anybody ever know which one was Huey, Duey, or Louie? McDuck is swimming in money, but he can't afford name tags for his nephews... that's just lazy parenting.

A Criminal Mastermind...

Before I commit any big crimes, I like to go around town and grab a book of matches from every bar I can find. Cause when cops start looking for clues, they always go to the bars that you got matches from... With all the matchbooks I got, it'll totally throw em' off... Plus, in a life of crime, you never know when you're going to have to burn your way out of a jam!

A Little Direction in Life

2 Wrongs don't make a right, but 3 rights make a left.

Lame Advertising

Have you ever seen a commercial for a novel?... It's just like a preview for a movie you don't want to see.

The Way I See It...

Once a month girls have their period, but I like to think of it as an exclamation point cause that's when they do all their yelling.

Snakes in the Wild

It's a good thing rattlesnakes don't hang out in nurseries because you'd never know when they'd strike.

Smarter Camoflauge

At first I thought it was stupid that Zebras are black and white because there is nothing black and white in the jungle for them to blend into... But then I realized crossword puzzles are black and white, and if I was a hungry lion I wouldn't want to deal with some crossword, I mean those things are hard.

Getting A Little Closure

I'm tired of you playing these games with my heart. I'm sick of you saying you're leaving for good, only to come back again. I guess I'm the fool for always taking you back, but no more! I think I speak for everyone when I say "I'm over you McRib, I've found other sandwiches that stand by my hunger instead of leave when it's convienent... Thanks for the memories McRib, but I think you should stop coming around.

Being Safe After Dark

The next time you're making fun of goth kids at night be careful, because they might actually be vampires... really depressed and annoying vampires.

In the Land of Birds

I saw this TV show were instead of horses they rode ostriches... why would anyone ride an ostrich instead of a horse? Maybe if an ostrich could fly it would make a little more sense... I'd rather ride a chicken, at least that bird can fly... and if I was a cop I'd ride a rooster, and his rooster calls would be my siren.

Gloves are Superior

Why would anyone chose mittens over gloves? When someone says "It's cold, I better go grab my mittens." all I ever hear is "It's cold, I better only have two fingers on each hand." Seriously, gloves are superior to mittens in every way... that is unless you're pretending to be a ninja turtle, but that's really not my point.