The Laws of Feline Physics

Cats always land on their feet... But what if you put nails on the bottom of the cat's feet? Would the cat still land on it's feet, knowing that the impact would push the nails into the cat's paws. Or would the cat be able to break the laws of Feline Physics and not land on its feet?

Well I guess there are some things we're just not supposed to know... unless you enjoy killing cats, then this would probably be a pretty fun experiment.

An Almost Impossible Riddle

If you and me is three... how many more is four?

Whales & Seagulls...

Sometimes I think of whales. And when I think of whales I wonder if they could use long tubes to go from their blow-holes to the surface of the water. I think of how great an idea that would be for the whales, and how it would be like a giant snorkel and they would never have to come up for air...
Then I think of seagulls. And when I think of seagulls I wonder if they could ever fly into one of these giant, long, whale snorkels. I think of how seagulls will eat anything, and then I think of a seagull flying into a whale snorkel and eating out the whale's brain...

I now know why the perfect idea of the whale snorkel has not become a reality. I tell myself "Keep dreaming Joe", But I know one day, one day when whales and seagulls learn to live in peace, the whale snorkel won't be a silly dream anymore.

You Can't ♥ Everything

I saw a kid in my class wearing a shirt that said "I ♥ Diversity". Then a couple days later I saw him wearing a shirt that said "I ♥ Pine Cove". Now does this kid really love Diversity and Pine Cove, or does he just love wearing "I ♥" shirts. I think he's just throwing the word "Love" around like it's nothing... One thing's for sure, this kid needs to get his priorities straight, cause he's going to end up breaking a lot of hearts.

A Quick Tip

If you're ever digging for success... Dig Up!

All Women are Liars!

I got so excited when Ashley had a handful of Reese's Pieces in her hand because I love them so much. But then I noticed she was just eating a bunch of orange and yellow Skittles... I can't think of a time a women's lies has hurt me worse.

No Way Those Chicks are Twins

What if the twins from those Doublemint gum commericals aren't really twins. What if one of the twins is actually a time traveler, and she just went back in time and is now making commercials with her past self, and making twice the money. Next time you see one of those commercials, look and see if one twin looks a little older than the other one. Thats the one from the future!

Cell Phones Are So Much More Convienent

The guys in the matrix could have everything at their finger tips. From guns to helicopters, they had it all... except for a phone. They were always looking for a phone to get away from danger. I think a lot of lives could of been saved if they just invested in a family share plan.

G.I. Joe Sure Has a Lot of Tanks

If "Knowing" was half the battle, did G.I. Joe really need all those tanks to beat Cobra? I mean, what was the other half of the battle... whoever has the weirdest tanks and the coolest ninja guy that doesn't talk wins?... I'm no mathmetician, but it seems to me that if G.I. Joe just knew twice as much they would of been able to save a lot of money on tanks.

What... Funyuns?

What's so fun about Funyuns?... Oh wait now I remember, thanks for your help though.

Excuse Me, You're on My Turf.

If I ever started a gang, I don't think I'd have a gang color. Instead my gang color would be "Brick", and you'd always be on my turf.

The Perfect Woman

I remember when every girl wanted to be like their Barbie doll because she was the perfect women. But from what I remember, you couldn't bend Barbie's knees or elbows. So what made her so Perfect?... "Hey Barbie. wanna go run around like Frankenstein and then just stand around all day?"... "You do, God I love you Barbie, You're Perfect!"