Is Awesome a Color?

I believe that one way to tell a person's favorite color is by what they wear the most. That's why I can honestly say that my favorite color is "Awesomeness".

Misunderstood Passion

If you saw a fat person with chocolate all over their lips you'd probably think they're disgusting. But what if that chocolate was from a Hershey Kiss? Then they're just passionate.

"The Q Effect"

We don't really need the letter "Q" in the alphabet. However, we keep it in there so when playing Scrabble, someone always gets screwed because they picked up a Q but don't have a U... Experts call this phenomenon, "The Q Effect".

Covered in Shame

Some people choose pencils over pens because you can erase your mistakes. However, you can't erase the fact that now you're covered in eraser shavings because you're a mistake-making idiot who should of been fired two weeks ago.

A Miracle Cure

While using the Teacher's restroom at school, I noticed a can of disinfectant. On this very special can was a list of all the bacteria and germs it killed. Included in this list was none other than AIDS... Apparently we can not cure AIDS, unless of course it's on a toilet seat. In that case we can just spray it to death... Long story short, I stole the disinfectant and plan on bathing in the stuff regularly.

Everything has its Opposite

I believe the opposite of "Lottery" is "Pregnancy Scare".

There Can Only Be One... SUV

A big question is which SUV is actually the safest to drive. Allow me to clear this up for everyonel... The Toyota Highlander is the safest SUV to drive. Why? you ask, well it's actually pretty obvious... Everyone knows that You can not kill a Highlander. Highlanders are immortal and can only be killed by other Highlanders. So clearly I would feel a whole lot safer in my immortal Toyota Highlander than in your lame Nissan Xterra... I hope I was able to answer everyone's questions.

Noticeable Whites & Invisible Shoes

Why do people make such a big deal about mixing their colors and their whites when doing laundry? Who cares if your whites get messed up... nobody sees em'. If I do my laundry and find a pink sock instead of a white one all it means is I can't wear my invisible shoes that day.

A Special Day

Most people remember taking school pictures when they were younger. I, on the other hand, fondly think of it as "Free Comb Day."