A Girl Named Judy

Today I was talking with a girl named Judy when it hit me. Who names their daughter Judy? In fact I don't think I've ever met a girl named Judy. Then I thought of Judy Jetson. That's when I realized that we are not yet ready for the name Judy, and in time we will accept it just like flying cars and robot maids named Rosie.

A Forgotten Legend

Since the beginning of time, people have become legends for showing amazing feats of strength. But it has come to my attention that we have overlooked one of these legends... Scrooge McDuck was known as a wealthy, stingy, selfish old man, but we forgot his amazing physical strength. He is the only person I have ever known to dive head first into a pool of coins, only to swim around doing flips and somersaults. Must I also mention that he did all this swimming without a lifeguard present... Clearly Scrooge McDuck is a god among other Ducks, and should be remembered as such. Thanks for the memories Mr McDuck.

Shirts, Liars, & Ugos...

Today I saw a girl wearing a shirt that said "Kiss me I'm Italian." Truth is, if she really wanted me to kiss her all she had to wear was a shirt saying "Kiss me I'm attractive." Unfortunately for her she was not attractive and I don't kiss liars, or people who let their shirts lie for them... or ugly people in general.

An Actual Fued of Families

Has anything ever been decided because of the Family Fued? Just once I want it to be an actual fued of families. Trouble with the neighbors? No Problem, just challenge them to the Family Fued. Whoever loses moves, and the winner... well the winner gets to play fast money for a chance at $20,000. Because that's just how the game is played.

Free Advertising

I've noticed a bunch of religious people have a bumper sticker on their car that reads, "My Boss is a Jewish Carpenter." What they don't know is that somewhere out there, Steinberg's Hardwood Floors is getting a lot of free advertising thanks to them.

Where My Genie At?

I went through a phase where everytime I came across a lamp I would rub it just to see if it contained a magical genie that would grant me wishes... Of course now I realize how silly I was. Now instead of rubbing, I break every lamp I see... If I can't have my genie, No One Can!