Smart Humor

A friend mentioned he had just bought a new motherboard for his computer. When I told him one day she'll give birth to a fine young board, he did not laugh. I guess my joke was a little too smart for the guy who buys computer parts. Take that smart guy!

How Polite is He?

He's so polite, he courtesy flushes at the urinal.

Color of Champions

My favorite color would have to be Highlighter Yellow. Not because it's so bright or cause it's unique, but because it demands your attention. You have to respect a color like that. The other colors could learn a lot from Highlighter Yellow... especially you Brown.

Behind the Music

I always liked the song "Pepper" by the Butthole Surfers. When it first came out, I liked it so much that I wanted to be a butthole surfer. It wasn't until later I realized there was a lot more to being a butthole surfer than just surfing. Thank god I didn't do anything I'd regret... cool song though.

Breaking from the Pack

Unlike everyone else I put my pants on both legs at a time. Sure it's a chore and there's a lot of hopping involved, but it's worth it to know I stand out in a class of my own.

The Incredible Edible Cracker

The people who make animal crackers should try making life-size crackers, and then putting them in parks and zoos. It would be great for marketing, but on the downside, it would probably increase the number of animals that will die because a child bit their head off.

An More Interesting Bee

There should be a word in the English language that simply means "Impossible to spell". Then they could use this word at the final round of spelling bees, and everyone will be amazed when someone spells it correctly. The judges will all say "That's impossible!" and dub him "The Chosen One". All in all I think it would make spelling bees a little more interesting, but then so would an actual bee that could spell... Eh, either way.