A Sinking Solution

If you ever fall into quicksand try not to panic. Instead try building a sandcastle, preferably one with stairs.

Roads?...

Roads?... Where we're going we don't need roads... the airport

Doing My Usual

A guy at work asked me what's up, and I replied "The usual." However, it was during my lunch, and I was eating a taco when I talked to him. So now there's a guy at work who thinks all I do is sit around and eat tacos all day.

The Quicker Picker Upper

I think a cool power would be the ability to turn my hands into paper towels. You might not be impressed, but I don't plan on fighting crime anytime soon, however, I do spill things a lot. Just imagine how handy it would be around the house or at parties.

The Disappearance of Pac Man

You can never find the original Pac Man in arcades anymore. Instead it's all Mrs. Pac Man, and you want to know why? Because Pac Man is at work all day supporting the family while Mrs. Pac Man runs around with strange ghosts and eats all the food she can stuff in her face. Women... typical.

Making a Better Burger

If I was a farmer I'd give my cows umbrella hats so they could keep their heads dry while they're standing in the rain. After all, dry cows are happy cows, and happy cows make happy beef... everyone knows that.

The Other Car...

Today I saw a car with a sticker that said "My other car is a rocket." Somehow I doubt this guy has a rocket in his garage with a sticker that says "My other car is a crappy Nissan Pathfinder."